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About Student Artist Member Magdalena PutriFemale/Indonesia Group :iconart-of-gaia: Art-of-Gaia
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Isami-Magda-chan has started a donation pool!
25 / 7,196
I want to buy dA PRO Digital Artist Backpack but that cost to much for me so I open a commision

Headshoot:
~> line 10 points
~>color 15 points
Fullbody:
~> line 20 points
~>color 25 points
Chibi Headshoot:
~> line 5 points
~>color 10 points
Chibi Fullbody:
~> line 10 points
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  • :iconchiu0sora:
    Chiu0Sora
    Donated Mar 31, 2012, 11:55:35 PM
    25

In the past I have no one to rely on except my family
Even I never tell my family about my problems
My heart is strong and my personality is calm
When I got friends they will leave me because of my personality
I tried to change myself
And finally got friends whom I cheeris
And I tried to rely on them
But someone made me realize how fragile my heart now
I like my self in the past more
I'd like to back to my old self
But I already forgot
I tried to forget them to be honest
I felt so much pain
And I wont felt like that anymore
But being my present self also painful
I lied to my own self
I still don't know which personality suit me well
Or maybe I need to develop new personality?
But I'm afraid my friends will leave me again
I know it sound like doubt their feeling to   me
But I can't help being afraid of the worst
I already to fond of them
Should I seal my heart away once more?
And be emotionless like in the past? Or I should keep my present self and being a liar toward myself?
I do love all my present friend and I want to hold them dear

But more I think about it, more I confused which one is the true me
Even in front of my parents I never show my true self
I already deceive my self since I was kid even before kindergarten as I remember
The kids in my neighbor they just use me without intention to be my friend
They bully me, and in kindergarten until middle school I experience the same thing
In the high school I still experience that but I start to got friends so my scar start to heal
And maybe without I realized I do love them but unconsciously I use them
But I don' t have that intention
I more independent in the past I too much rely on my friend now
And made me fragile
I don't know why I write this
Maybe I just want to make my heart more relieve from all the burden I held all this time
I never say what I truly feel, what I want I just follow the flow in order to keep going with my friend
What I just now and realized that I hurt even badly than before
But if I said what I think and what I feel I'm afraid that I would left behind again
Because that happen over and over
My heart is so tired of all this drama
I wish I could bring an end to this
I cried a lot but that didn't relieved anything

I want to apologize to my friends if what I said ever hurt you

 

 

-maybe there's a lot of mistake in this writing I can't think clearly when I wrote this-

  • Mood: Pain

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Isami-Magda-chan
Magdalena Putri
Artist | Student
Indonesia
idk about my self LOL~
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:iconfransyung:
fransyung Dec 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
thank you for watching ^^
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:iconrouzille:
Rouzille Sep 10, 2013  Student Digital Artist
gath bulan september silakan divote semarang.deviantart.com/journa…
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:iconjessicaushiromiyasan:
Thanks for the fave <3
if you like follow me on fb www.facebook.com/MinosCosplay
♥♥♥
Minos ♥
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:iconcyu:
cyu May 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
ayo vote devmeet semarang --> [link]
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:iconblackacexxx:
blackACEXxX Feb 6, 2013  Student Digital Artist
thank you for the :+fav:!!!
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:iconisami-magda-chan:
ur welcome~
I really love ur chibi~
<3
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:iconemje-noeg:
emje-noeg Feb 3, 2013  Student Digital Artist
makasih :+devwatch: nya~
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