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About Student Artist Member Magdalena PutriFemale/Indonesia Group :iconart-of-gaia: Art-of-Gaia
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  • :iconchiu0sora:
    Chiu0Sora
    Donated Mar 31, 2012, 11:55:35 PM
    25

In the past I have no one to rely on except my family
Even I never tell my family about my problems
My heart is strong and my personality is calm
When I got friends they will leave me because of my personality
I tried to change myself
And finally got friends whom I cheeris
And I tried to rely on them
But someone made me realize how fragile my heart now
I like my self in the past more
I'd like to back to my old self
But I already forgot
I tried to forget them to be honest
I felt so much pain
And I wont felt like that anymore
But being my present self also painful
I lied to my own self
I still don't know which personality suit me well
Or maybe I need to develop new personality?
But I'm afraid my friends will leave me again
I know it sound like doubt their feeling to   me
But I can't help being afraid of the worst
I already to fond of them
Should I seal my heart away once more?
And be emotionless like in the past? Or I should keep my present self and being a liar toward myself?
I do love all my present friend and I want to hold them dear

But more I think about it, more I confused which one is the true me
Even in front of my parents I never show my true self
I already deceive my self since I was kid even before kindergarten as I remember
The kids in my neighbor they just use me without intention to be my friend
They bully me, and in kindergarten until middle school I experience the same thing
In the high school I still experience that but I start to got friends so my scar start to heal
And maybe without I realized I do love them but unconsciously I use them
But I don' t have that intention
I more independent in the past I too much rely on my friend now
And made me fragile
I don't know why I write this
Maybe I just want to make my heart more relieve from all the burden I held all this time
I never say what I truly feel, what I want I just follow the flow in order to keep going with my friend
What I just now and realized that I hurt even badly than before
But if I said what I think and what I feel I'm afraid that I would left behind again
Because that happen over and over
My heart is so tired of all this drama
I wish I could bring an end to this
I cried a lot but that didn't relieved anything

I want to apologize to my friends if what I said ever hurt you

 

 

-maybe there's a lot of mistake in this writing I can't think clearly when I wrote this-

  • Mood: Pain

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Magdalena Putri
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Indonesia
idk about my self LOL~
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:iconwashizuka:
washizuka Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2014  Professional General Artist
*Free Icon/Emote* Ramen Pusheen *Free Icon/Emote* Twilight Hairball Pusheen *Free Icon/Emote* Pusheen (Angry) *Free Icon/Emote* Pusheen (So exciting!) *Free Icon/Emote* Pusheen (...I Wuv It!) *Free Icon/Emote* Nutella Pusheen (OMG) *Free Icon/Emote* Halloween Pusheen 
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:iconwashizuka:
washizuka Featured By Owner Nov 15, 2014  Professional General Artist
*Free Icon/Emote* Big Hero 6 Baymax
i am Baymax, your personal medical robot :))
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:iconwashizuka:
washizuka Featured By Owner Apr 29, 2014  Professional General Artist
hoo~ udh 4years.

welcome to DA :v #plak
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:iconisami-magda-chan:
Isami-Magda-chan Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Student
hahahaha
ini acc dA k3
yg 1 sama 2 ak ga inget username sama pass nya
jadibikin lagi :v
aslinya udah lama punya dA
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:iconwashizuka:
washizuka Featured By Owner May 19, 2014  Professional General Artist
huooo :v

aku baru 7taun :v
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:iconisami-magda-chan:
Isami-Magda-chan Featured By Owner May 23, 2014  Student
7 tahun thu lama
xD
punyaku tp yg pertama jg mungkin kurang lebih segituan xD
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(1 Reply)
:iconfransyung:
fransyung Featured By Owner Dec 7, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
thank you for watching ^^
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:iconrouzille:
Rouzille Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2013  Student Digital Artist
gath bulan september silakan divote semarang.deviantart.com/journa…
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:iconjessicaushiromiyasan:
Thanks for the fave <3
if you like follow me on fb www.facebook.com/MinosCosplay
♥♥♥
Minos ♥
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:iconcyu:
cyu Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
ayo vote devmeet semarang --> [link]
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